Money, death, and chocolate milk

     I hate being broke, but as I am a student, I am not working. I worked a total of 2 weeks last year. Unless I can find a way to sell my stuff without having to leave the house....I am SOL. That being said, we finally got out tax return. After a substantial amount was taken out due to Hubby's child support, we got a chunk of it back. I can now pay for my car insurance and repairs on said car. YAY.
   Now, I find I must now resist the temptation to run out to the store and buy things. I want a night guard to protect my teeth at night. I wake up after nightmares that I have ground my teeth into dust or snapped them in pieces. I want to spend money on a WIIfit game and accessories, mainly so that they can sit in the corner hoping to be played, as I think about playing, but then get distracted by something else far more interesting or shiny.I want a viola set, in order to try halfheartedly to remember what little I learned from 9 years of playing one in school. I want fabric, so that I can ask Jilly to make me one of the dresses she made from some CUTE fabric we saw at the store. I want to  be able to buy some weight-loss aids or pills that I can take in hopes of shedding some of the weight I have gained without having to go to a gym. (which would involve leaving the house...) I want to go see a movie...or several....or join netflix and therefore not have to leave the house.
    That all being said, here's what I will probably actually spend the money on: 1) Bills. Just the major ones that involve things we need. 2)Father-in-law. To pay back for all the atrocities he has to endure from our living under his roof. 3)Starwood. So that I get a chance to do SOMETHING this summer that seems fun. 4..and most expensive) GAS. For the cars. (and any extra car repairs, too)
    As I write this I am having a severely uncomfortable bout of heartburn. If I could even call it that. I ate too much at dinner and now all the food has enlarged my stomach, causing a lot of it to travel up my throat. As a result, I am having added pressure to the surrounding organs. Basically, I am having short pains in my heart area..like someone is stabbing me there. Through experience, I know it will go away when my stomach empties. Until then I either have to stand up or lie down. Basically because sitting causes extra squeezing. Logically, I know all of this but that doesn't help the little person in the back of my brain. Said little person is jumping up and down frantically while screaming.."YOU ARE GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!" This little person also has a liking for chocolate milk. I think I will go shut her up now.....MMMMMM Chocolate milk!

Face Buried in 3Dness and Music, and Zombies!

   It's been a while since my last post. SO much has happened that I haven't had two minutes alone. First...there's school. I finally got the stubborn stick out of my butt and sat down and am really powering through my classes. I am totally loving my 3d modeling class. I am making some pretty cool things and it doesn't even feel like I am drawing....I am posting some examples. My life drawing for animation class is a little more difficult, but I am making it through okay. As I create these things, my mind starts bursting with ideas for stories and the things I could make. Then, I realize I need some music to spur it on. I found some music by "One Republic." These guys rock. So I sit here, hoping I won't burst with creativity any moment. As I do so, I am also gaming on FB and wonder if I should shower today. I hardly leave the house anymore, but I am sure Hubby would like me not to stink. I also downloaded the game "Plants Vs. Zombies" and have been wasting some major time playing it. It is addictive! They also have a feature where you can make your own "Zombatar." I am posting one of mine. It's funny, but that's how I feel some days! I have also managed to completely switch around my schedule yet again. It seems I am just destined to sleep during the day, no matter how hard I try to be a normal human and be awake during daylight.

 RAWR! I am a creature of the Evening!

Okay. I had to.
     I was also totally geeked to find out that my favorite blogger- (http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/)- has updated her blog. She cracks me up! Little things make me happy. Don't complicate it, or I shall be thrown into an everlasting pit of confusion and eat your brains......

Insanity to SOUP

                I am seriously beginning to wonder if everyone is as paranoid as I am. Is it just me? I mean, I am realizing that I am AFRAID of communication with living beings. Anyone outside of my safe little circle of friends I am afraid to establish any contact with. I was just on facebook and was going through the “You may know” section and clicking to figure out if I do know these people.  I then ran across some people I knew in school. I clicked on “add as a friend” on them and panicked.  The first thought was, “Wouldn’t it be cool if I started chatting with someone and I got to be like, really good friends!!?” Then, this thought showed up:

                “NO. because then they would try to IM you and you know how you HATE it when people IM you at the wrong times and you NEVER have something witty or clever to say to them and you get all frustrated and they decide you are still a loser because you won’t talk…and what if they decided they wanted to meet up? Then you would have to LEAVE THE HOUSE! And then they will see just how FAT you are now. NONONONO. Just stay here in your comfort zone. Strange people are bad. They might eat you. Or worse, they might stab you repeatedly while calling you insulting names and laughing maniacally with your blood dripping off of their noses.”

SOUP!

                Then I think…”That would make a cool post.” So here I am....Hoping that people will read what an insane hermit I really am. As I make French onion soup from scratch. MMMMMM. Oniony goodness.  OH! Someone accepted my friend request! Wonder if they’d actually talk to me. You see, I am desperate for social interaction while being deathly afraid of it. My coping mechanism? You guessed it, it’s food. You don’t have to think of anything to say when you are shoving your faces with food. Or, even better, the food itself is so amazing that it gives you something to talk about. I would love to have dinner parties. As long as the people don’t stay too long and don’t mind the 80 year-old in the TV room. Do people even HAVE dinner parties anymore? What about dances or formals or balls? I would LOVE to hold a Masquerade Ball somewhere. It seems the only things the people I hang with do are drum circles, hippie festivals, and sitting around people’s houses listening to music. Now, I like these things, but wouldn’t it be awesome to have a huge party and just dress however we like and have a reason to wear the nice clothes we have hanging in our closets, gathering dust? Also, I would totally cater. I love to cook. I used to, every year on my birthday; cook a HUUUUGE pot of French Onion soup.  Then I would invite my friends over. Some of my friends would come over just for my soup.  Yes. I would bribe people to come over for my birthday with soup.