Don't mind me....I'm just trying to exist, here....

     These past couple of weeks have been crazy. From various hospital/doctor visits to vehicle issues, I have been on a roller coaster. One of these doctor visits revealed to me that I seriously need some help. I have gained so much weight that I am now 351 lbs. My knees are giving out, my back and legs are useless...blah, blah, blah. Unlike most people who have been on the diet train, I know what will help me. I need to avoid carbs...that's simple, right? NOT so much when you live in a society that thinks that sugars and starches are key to happiness. They are the bane of my existence. I am on day 1 of low/no carb diet and I was doing okay. Hubby's dad took me out to eat and I had a salad that was awesome...I order said salad and guess what it comes with....a choice of several types of breads. I had some banana bread....and ate it. ARGH! Okay, I had made an amazing dinner with Grilled chicken on salad....MMMMMMM. I was full and doing well. Then, at about 9 pm...Hubby comes down with a bowl full of chocolate ice cream, and if I know him, it was probably covered with crushed up cookies.  I was like, "REALLY!!!???" He had no idea why I was getting so pissy with him. In the meantime, my knee began to ache worse. I eventually blew up and went upstairs to try to find a recipe of something sweet that was under 5 or so carbs. No such luck, and as I am increasingly obsessing over craving something sweet, Hubby comes up and starts chowing on some cookies. "HELLOOOOO!?" Is he trying to kill me? I swear, he is bent on making this as difficult as possible on me. When I express this feeling, he starts complaining that I should not expect him to diet along with me for me to succeed. Luckily, Jilly is also on said low carbiness and doing well. So we find ourselves with the same problem. When we eat around other people, the people seem to think they need to shove carbs down our throats. SO, Jilly came up with an awesome idea...and that is to inform people that we are allergic to carbs. When I really think about it, we are. Carbs don't like us. They make us swell up until we can't breathe, it just takes longer than a bee sting. Our bodies don't know how to process carbs properly and so it turns it into fat. Considering that at this point, I could probably become disabled because of my weight, I have decided I want my life back. I am allergic to carbs. Deal with it. OH...and for some reason, the people who make cough drops seem to think the only flavor that should be available in sugar-free is the nasty "blue" flavor. REALLY!?