Boring stuff...blah blah blah...and the Hallmark Channel

       I have been slowly approaching a new phase in my life, as many of you who actually know me already know...(all 5 of you..LOL) This week, it will be gaining momentum. I am checking out a place that sounds promising. I am hoping to be on my own by the end of the month. Mind you, where I am currently living is great, but in order to maintain good friendships and not have this relationship with Hubby turn into WWIII, I know this is best. Work has been progressing and I have managed to only run off one out of four trainees...not a bad record. Even the dude I've been crushing on for the past few months has even given me a little attention here and there. (Mind you...it is a just friends kind of thing) Overall, I see the holding pattern of my life starting to break. I am quite pleased, but also scared shit-less of change. I am scared of no longer having the safety net to catch me. I'm a big girl now, though....time to pull up my big girl panties and face reality. Funny thing is, reality is proving to be less scary the more I just live it. Fear is the mind-killer and I must decide to no longer live my life in fear. This has been my main focus these past few months or so. I am trying to keep my heart open, but that is proving to be the most difficult thing. You see....My mother has this habit of watching the Hallmark Channel. Mostly when I am there. I swear if I see another "heartfelt" tear-jerking debacle of a movie I am gonna hurl the remote at the TV. I am of the opinion that these producers and writers sit down and say to each other..."Hmm...let's see how quickly, how hard, and how continuously we can make our audience cry...then let's dial it up a few notches."
                     I hate it it. Seriously, I spend time watching it and the entire time I am thinking,
 "Are you f-ing kidding me? Love...shit...LIFE does not work like that. This is such bullshit...oh crap...oh no...shit. I'm crying again. Damn. Why do I get sucked in? Love doesn't just happen like that...oh look...now he's gonna proclaim his love for her and...gag me...why don't they both just get their head out of their asses and not let this bullshit get to them...oh no...now she's doing something incredibly sweet and he's falling for it. ...If I did something like that, I'd get arrested for stalking....oh and I don't want to even hear about how hard it is to date when you look like a fucking supermodel cuz you're an actress! Ugh...oh no...oh...stop it, Stacy...stop  the damn bawling....look Jocy's laughing at you again. Just fucking great...If only telling a dude how you felt actually worked instead of making them run away like their pants are on fire....Is it over yet?...I need to get out of here...NOW."
And so on...
It's like a car accident on the side of the road...it's terrible and you know it, but you can't...stop...looking. I also hate the fact that I am losing faith in the power of love. I used to think think love could make everything okay, and if you loved someone enough, that was all that was needed. Now, I watch these movies and spend the time warding off thoughts about how impossible these movies really are in the real world. I feel all cynical and shit and it actually bothers me. I don't want to be negative...I want to be optimistic and it fights with this newly found hatred for anything involving love or romance. I see people kissing and I want to pour a pitcher of ice water over their heads. I see a wedding and start to make bets with myself on how long it will last. *SIGH* I think this is a phase and it will pass....probably like a kidney stone...bloody and painful. Wow . THAT just got hugely depressive there. Sorry about that....but that IS how my brain works in Hyperspace...

Spider City...aka...my Bathroom

    Okay, I am not sure if I ever actually posted anything about this, but it seems my bathroom is Spider City. I have a "family" of bathroom spiders and have created my own little world about them. There's Ralph, Clyde, Sally, and Loo. Ralph we know the least about because he met a watery death early on, as he had decided to crawl a little closely into my line of vision. For those of you who know me, you know how extremely nearsighted I am without my glasses and as I do not wear them in the shower, it was pretty danged close for me to see him. I have this thing where I won't smush a spider...it involves getting too close to the things. So, I grabbed my shower head on a hose, aimed, and fired. I picture a little gravestone in the corner of the shower now...it reads RIP Ralph... stupid shower spider. Then there's Ralph's slightly more intelligent brother, Clyde. Clyde hangs out in the front top left corner of the shower... barely within sight, but not close enough for the death penalty. I often picture Clyde in a recliner, sporting a greasy wife-beater undershirt, beer in one of his "hands",  and a cigar hanging out of his mouth. He just kinda hangs out there, enjoying the show, I guess. Sally is our sink spider. I don't see much of her, but since her appearance our population of drain flies has decreased. She's often pictured with a broom in her hand, bandanna on  her head, and sporting two little pigtail braids. Then, there's Loo. Loo is our toilet spider...he hangs out, you've guessed it, by our toilet. The funny thing is, he hangs out in the corner across from the toilet. Our bathroom is closet-sized so that's not far, and he's right at eye height when we are seated on the throne. I have often seen him swaying back and forth after J is done in there. I'm pretty sure he's getting high from the fumes. (update: Loo has died...we now have another Loo...same spot and everything...hehe Loo 2) Anyway, these spiders live because of a tentative truce between us and them. They stay out of our way, they eat the bugs, and they get to live. There has been a new addition as of late. This one hides out in a crevice near the bottom of the door, between the jamb and the wall. I have decided to name him Harry. Harry hides as much as he can and he really finished off a bug I didn't like near the floor. Harry gets to live, but he's rather creepier looking than the others, so I turn on the light before entering....to give him enough time to hide so I don't accidentally step on him. *shiver* When I get a chance to actually draw again, I will have a cartoon to post about my bathroom spiders. Until then, I think I will come up with some stories about them...

The return of...

        So, I really should start creating the Adventures of SuperSlut and Capt. Save-a-ho. My life as of late, has been steeped in craziness and such adventures. Most of which, end up in either great joy or even greater disaster. I am stretching my SuperSlut wings, so to speak. Apparently, because of my empathic tendencies, I am drawn to the most .... broken of people. I seek to heal, and I do so through sex. I have completed my most recent and enduring assignment of healing my counterpart, Capt. Save-a-ho. Now he is ready to fly off on his own adventures without me. This being done, I find myself running smack into a wall of broken men, seeking my services. (Not really, but it sounds good, doesn't it?) Anyway, in the process of rediscovering myself I have discovered my SuperSlut abilities have not diminished in my years away from service. So, off I go- wait...damn...it seems my cape is a tad dusty and in need of repair. My corset fits a little better now, which is a good thing....now to get these damn thigh-highs to stay up.... Well, I shall mend my cape and fly off another day!

Time to ramble...again.

So. I am currently sitting at my parents' house...enjoying the quiet before everyone gets home. I love being here. I don't know, but I guess this house will always mean home to me. So, I have had a crazy week or so.Last weekend, Hubby got stranded in the Cleveland area, which left me with the whole basement to myself. I also found the remote to my media streaming thingy, which has been lost for three or six months. I found it in plain sight, right in front of my dresser....Mind you, this said dresser I had MOVED to look for this remote...and by moved I mean, it sits in an entirely different place than when the remote got lost. I swear, the fairies in the house are just jumping for joy and messing with me. I have discovered my inner Goddess is really a fiery woman with tendencies toward spontaneous craziness. That being said, I spent most of the not-Hubby time trying desperately to sleep....unsuccessfully. Obsessive thoughts running like a freight train through my brain. So now, I am hoping to get some sleep this weekend at my parents' house, but I'm not sure how successful that will be. Maybe I will go to a bar to hang or something....but doing that alone seems kinda desperate. Well, I forgot what I was going to talk about originally so, until next time...